Fairy Tales of Symphonia
by RoyalFanatic
Summary: A collection of alltime favorite fairy tales starring the ToS cast! OOCness, silliness, randomness, and such may be present, therefore, please do not take too seriously. Spoiler warning too? Current Fairy Tale: Snow White. Up Next: The Three Little Pigs
1. Little Red Riding Hood

**Heh, my first attempt at humor…well, I hope it's funny! Just to all of you know, this is NOT to be taken seriously, as I said in the summary. Characters might (heck, they probably are) OOC, but it's just for fun. Flamers please do not take this seriously. If you don't laugh, then that's fine. But don't leave flames saying you didn't laugh! My humor probably stinks, so just bear with me, okay?  
**

**Botta: I think you did a good job.**

**Of course you do. Oh yeah, things are going to be done a little differently in this story; only Botta and I will be here. I disclaim; then give the reins to Botta, who is your Mother Goose.**

**Botta: Mother Goose! (Looks annoyed)**

**Fine fine, Father Gander.**

**Botta: Thank you.**

**I do not own Tales of Symphonia or any of the fairy tales. Okay Father Gander, take it away.**

**Botta: Thank you, RoyalFanatic. Now, for our first story, Little Red Riding Hood. (Opens book of Fairy Tales) (A/N: The Italic is Botta reading/speaking)**

_Once upon a time, there was a blond haired klutz who tripped a lot. Her name was Little Red Riding Hood—_

"But I'm wearing white," Colette…umm…Little Red Riding Hood said.

_Hey! No interrupting the narrator!_

"I'm sorry Mr. Botta…"

_You're forgiven. Anyway, her name was Little Red Riding—_

"I'm sorry, but I'm still wearing white. And I'm kinda tall too…"

_Fine. Her name was Not-so-little White Walking Hood._

"I'm not wearing a hood."

_You're wearing one now!_

"I'm sorry!"

_Her name was Not-so-little White Walking Hood, and she was on a mission. Her grandmother, who lived in the nearby forest, was sick from lack of nutrients. Makes you wonder what she did to deserve such abuse. Anyway, Not-so-little White Walking Hood, or NWWH, as we shall call her, was given a basket of food to take to Grandmo—_

"But my grandmother has a name," Col…NWWH said. "It's Phaidra Lynda Inda Banana-Nana-Fo-Fana OMGlookoutahurricane! Brunel."

_Okay…well, since her name is so long, we'll call her Granny._

"Okay!"

_And so Little Red…umm…I mean NWWH began skipping—_

"I can't skip…"

_Why not?_

"I trip a lot…"

_Fine. NWWH began **walking **towards Granny's house. As she enters the forest, she tripped over a wolf—_

"Inferior being!" Yggdrasill…errrr…the wolf shouted. Yggy was dressed in a wolf costume.

_Hey! I'm a half-elf too!_

"Ermm…well, I'm not going to be a wolf!"

_Fine. Then NWWH tripped over a dead sexy lady—_

"NO! I'm NOT being a dead sexy lady!" Now he was in his Cruxis Leader outfit.

_It's that or the wolf._

"Fine! I'll be the stupid wolf!"

_Better…NOW STOP INTERUPTING ME! **Anyway**, NWWH trips over the wolf, and begins apologizing._

"Oh no!" NWWH said, getting up. "I'm sorry Mr. Wolf!"

"Inferior beings…ah, I mean uh…hello, not-so-little girl!" the wolf, now in proper costume, said.

_The wolf noticed NWWH's basket, and went into Mithos mode…umm…I mean…got excited._

"You have food? I want food! Give me that basket!" the wolf shouted.

"I can't!" NWWH shrieked.

_She clutched the basket close to her. Pointless sentence, I know…_

"This is for my sick grandmother, who's dying of lack of nutrients!"

"Fine," The wolf said. "But your grandma lives around here, right?"

"Yup! Just looked for the mailbox that has the name 'Phaidra Lynda Inda Banana-Nana-Fo-Fana OMGlookoutahurricane! Brunel' on it. Now I must be on my way."

"Why don't you take that long path that goes around a mountain that doesn't exist?" The wolf asked.

_He pointed to a sign that said 'Long path around a mountain that doesn't exist to Granny's house' on it. Now NWWH, being the blond klutz she is, nodded and started forward. She took two steps and tripped over a rock._

"Oh no! I'm sorry Mr. Rock!" NWWH cried.

_She gets up, and trips over another rock._

"I'm sorry Mr. Rocky!" she cried.

"Yeah, I have PLENTY of time," The wolf said.

_He took the shortcut to Granny's house. Now how do we know its Granny's house? Well, on the mailbox on the front lawn, the name "Phaidra Lynda Inda Banana-Nana-Fo-Fana OMGlookoutahurricane! Brunel" on it._

"Man! That not-so-little girl's great-grandma must've had some serious issues."

_30 minuets later…_

"Where is that not-so-little girl?" the wolf asked

_He's already dressed in Granny's nightgown and cap and in the bed. Granny answers from the closet._

"You mean my granddaughter? She's always like this; apologizing to everything that she trips on, and she trips a lot!"

"I know," the wolf said.

_Then, they heard a loud "I'm sorry Mr. Steps!"_

"Positions! She's here!" the wolf shouted.

"I'm already in position!" Granny shrieked.

_The wolf, once again in Mithos mode…umm…I'm mean excited, somehow calmed himself. NWWH tripped through the door._

"Sorry Mr. Door!" she cried. "And hi Grandmother! I have nutrients!"

_She put the basket on a table and walked up to the bed._

"Grandmother!" NWWH shouted. "What big eyes you have!"

"Umm…well, the better to see you with, dear," the wolf said.

"Grandmother! What big ears you have!"

"The better to hear you with, my dear."

"Grandmother! What big teeth you have!"

"INFERIOR BEING!" The "wolf" cried.

_He jumped off the bed. Yeah, another pointless sentence, I know. But I'm the narrator._

"How dare you reveal my most inner secret? DIE!" he continued.

_The door flung open, despite the fact that there was none, since NWWH broke it tripping over it, and a woodsman…dude…entered the house._

"Woodsman…dude?" Regal…umm…the woodsman dude asked. "Didn't he have a name?"

_NO HE DIDN'T! NOW STOP INTERUPTING ME!_

"Fine," the woodsman dude said.

_He turned to the "wolf", and his eyes grew wide._

"Holy cow!" he said. "What a dead sexy lady!"

"WHAT?" the "wolf" cried.

_He looked at himself, only to see he accidentally switched back to his Cruxis Leader outfit. He let out a yell and flew away._

"What the heck?" the woodsman dude asked.

_Yggy decided to be the wolf._

"Oh…" The woodsman dude muttered. "So, not-so-little girl, where's you grandmother?"

_The closet, dumb head._

"Oh," The woodsman dude said again.

_He released Granny. A third pointless sentence for you all. I narrate; it's my job._

"Now let's eat!" he said.

_And so, Not-so-little White Walking Hood, Granny Phaidra Lynda Inda Banana-Nana-Fo-Fana OMGlookoutahurricane, and the Woodsman Dude all ate lunch and lived happily ever after._

**Botta: THE END (Closes book). Now please review.**


	2. Beauty and the Beast

**Wow! Little Red Riding Hood seems to be a success! I say that because I hope that others will read and review it. Now I add a second fairy tale to read and review tothe mix.**

**Botta: Which I will read.**

**So far so good, this is good. Anyway, I'm sure you've all read _Beauty and the Beast _before, so you know all the dudes who turned into furniture, right? I hope so, because I'm not using their real names. I don't own any of the fairy tales or Tales of Symphonia. Anything I actually do own is not in this story.**

**  
Oh, one more thing. I decided to put a Cast of Characters, because I felt like it. So, without further ado, the cast of characters!**

**_People:_ Belle: Sheena, Beast/Prince: Zelos, Belle's daddy: Yuan, Hag: Presea**

**_Furniture:_ Candlestick Dude: Regal, Clock Person: Kratos, Teapot Lady: Raine, Little-Chipped Cup: Genis, Leg Rest Thingy: Noishe**

**  
Botta: If I may? **

But of course; take it away, Father Gander! (Once again, italics are Botta narrating/talking)

**Botta: Thank you RoyalFanatic. Our next story is Beauty and the Beast. (Opens book of fairy tales)**

_Once upon a time, there was a prince. And while he was extremely handsome, he was very rude to all people besides beautiful women and his servants._

"You got that right!" The prince said, fixing his long red hair.

_Don't pull a Colette on me here…Anyway, his castle was set by a forest…or something of that nature. One day, an old hag who was seeking shelter from the forest or something of that nature banged on the door, asking to stay._

"I'm…a hag?" She asked.

_Stick to the script!_

"But…I don't say anything," the hag said. "Insufficient information was given."

_You wanted a role, right?_

"…"

_Exactly. Anyway, when the prince answered, and saw how ugly and old she was, he didn't allow her to enter._

"No way! Joo's too ugly!" he said, slamming the door on her. "Wow, that didn't sound like me at all!"

_You weren't supposed to sound like yourself. This is humor. And so, being denied shelter, she cast a spell on the castle, turning the prince and servants to what they represented on the inside. Thus, the prince was turned into a beast._

"NOOOO! How can I be this ugly on the inside?" The beast shouted, crying.

_The hag centered the curse on a rose in a bell jar. If the Beast found true love before the final petal fell, or something like that, the curse would be lifted._

_And thus the people in the castle lived in their cursed forms._

_Now we go to a town on one side of the forest or something of that nature, where a very important person lives. Her name is Belle, and she loved to read books. She was actually returning from the town library when an important villager that no one wanted to play led the village into singing a…song. Belle, being the bookworm she is, just walked home, reading her book. How she did it without bumping into the singing villagers is beyond me._

"Hi daddy!" she said, being the only person so far to actually follow the script.

"Ummm…oh yeah. Hi dearest daughter!" Her daddy said.

_Belle's father was preparing for a journey. Outside the home was a horse and carriage._

"Where are you going daddy?" Belle asked.

"I'm going to the other side of the forest, where they say the best magic charms are being sold," Belle's daddy said. "I plan on trading for some of our stuff we think is useless but they'll think totally rocks."

"Have fun!" Belle said.

_She waved her father off, then headed into her house, reading her book, managing to open the door, go inside, close and lock it, then sit on her couch while still reading. If she can do stuff that good, she won't have any trouble when blind!_

_Anyway, back to Belle's daddy. He had just been attacked by wolves and lost his horse and carriage._

"NO!" He cried. "Wait, I have wings!"

_Lord Yuan…_

"Don't worry; I'll fly to the castle!"

_Very well then. So Belle's daddy pulled out his purple spectral wings and began flying to the castle. Upon getting to the door, he knocked…and it opened on its own! Creepy, right? Makes you wonder if any of the prince's servants was really that door. Anyway, he wandered in, and was greeted by three of the servants._

"OMG visitors!" The Candlestick Dude said. "Let's get you settled in! Hey Raine!"

_Hey! No using names!_

"Yes Regal?" The Teapot Lady asked.

_No using names!_

"You want us to be calling each other the stupid names you and the authoress gave us?" The Clock Person asked. "Not likely!"

_Kratos…_

"What did you need Regal?" The Teapot Lady asked.

"We have a visitor," The Candlestick Dude said. "Get him some tea."

"Certainly. Come Genis," The Teapot Lady said.

"But Raine, I'm your brother, not your son!" The Little-Chipped Cup said.

_AHEM! May I continue?_

"…"

_Thank you. Anyway, the pieces of furniture got Belle's daddy all settled in, including a Leg Rest Thingy that isn't really mentioned, but soon enough, he was discovered by the Beast._

"Please! I just wanted a place to stay!" Belle's daddy cried.

"I'll give you a place to stay!" The Beast roared.

_He threw Belle's daddy into the dungeon. Meanwhile, back at the town…_

"Oh no! My daddy's in trouble! I must sacrifice myself so I can save him!" Belle said, grabbing a horse.

_And so she rode to the Beast's castle, where she offered to stay in her father's place. Belle's daddy used the horse Belle used to get to the castle, and after promising to get sick after she and the Beast become friends so she could return, he left._

_Belle was unhappy at first, and refused to dine with the Beast. The poor furniture, hating to see the young woman starve, threw her a magnificent feast, while singing a song called "Be Our Guest"._

"WHY MUST I SING?"

_Ignoring that…over time, and after Belle saw that the Beast had such a marvelous library, the two became friends. The Little-Chipped Cup was certain that she would break the spell._

_Soon enough, Belle's daddy kept his promise. Finding out about a Magic Mirror and the Rose before the two became friends, Belle asked the Beast if she could use the mirror. The Beast agreed, and they discovered Belle's daddy to be sick._

"Please let me go back!" Belle cried. "And let me take the mirror so I can show my village you do exist!"

"Fine," The Beast said.

_He handed her the mirror, and she left. The Beast then turned to his servants and ordered them to prepare for battle._

_Belle meanwhile back to the town and revealed the Beast, as she said she would. The villagers grew angry and, led by the important villager that no one wanted to be, headed to the Beast's Castle, forgetting to lock Belle up._

"That was weird," Belle said.

_After making sure her father was okay, Belle then headed back to the castle, realizing she did love the Beast, and wanted to break the spell._

_You know about the battle scenes; if not, I'll let you picture them yourself…someone ripped those pages out of the book…_

…

"…"

_So…okay, here we go! Beast is on the balcony that has the rose in the jar, and is gravely wounded. There is only one petal left on the rose._

"No! Don't die! I love you!" Belle cried.

_Everything was silent. Did Belle succeed? Duh! The prince turns back to himself and so do the other servants._

"YES! We're okay!" Regal, previously the Candlestick Dude, shouted.

"I'm alive again!" Genis, previously the Little-Chipped Cup, shouted.

"We all have a comment?" Raine, previously the Teapot Lady asked.

"I'm not a clock anymore!" Kratos, previously the Clock Person, shouted.

"WHINE!" Noishe, previously the Leg Rest Thingy, shouted.

"I'm back to normal!" The prince shouted.

_He turned to Belle. Looks like I have a pointless sentence after all._

"Now let's live happily ever after!" He said.

_Belle agreed. And so, Belle and the Prince lived in the castle with her father and the servants._

_And they all lived happily ever after._

**Botta: The End (Closes book). Now please review.**


	3. Cinderella

**Yay! A third fairy tale for all you people to read!**

**Botta: Muhahaha…**

**Okay, that was random. All the pages are there, right?**

**Botta: They should be…unless it's the ghost that's doing it…**

**Oh yah, the ghost…stupid ghost.**

**Botta: Shall I start reading?**

Hold on a sec. Me no own any of the ToS crew or the fairy tales. I do the ghost I just mentioned; we call him the Ghost That Steals Fairy Tale Book Pages Just Because. We don't know if he was the one, but meh. Now for the cast of characters:

**Cinderella: Presea (looking like a 17 year old), Evil Stepmother: Raine, Evil Stepsisters: Colette and Sheena, Fairy Godmother: Martel, Prince Dude: Lloyd, Little Mice That Martel Will Transform Into Horses and Such: Genis, Zelos, Kratos, Regal, Corrine, Yuan, and Neil**

**Okay, take it away, Father Gander! (Note, Italics are Botta narrating/talking, but you should know this already)**

**Botta: Thank you RoyalFanatic. Our next story is Cinderella. (Opens book of fairy tales)**

_Once upon a time, in a kingdom that few know about, there lived a girl named Cinderella. She lived with her father in the middle class reign of the kingdom, but then her father married this woman who had two spoiled rotten daughters._

"I don't want to be evil!" Colette cried.

_Get used to it._

"Yeah, I'll give you instructions," Sheena said.

"O-okay," Colette muttered.

_Okay then. So these five lived okay until Cinderella's father died. Now the stepmother and stepsisters were only being nice to Cinderella because her daddy was alive. Now that he died, they treated her like a slave. The only friends Cinderella had were mice and birds._

"WHY AM I MOUSE?" Yuan thundered. "THERE'S NO WAY I'M BEING A MOUSE!"

_LIVE WITH IT!_

"…"

_Thank you! Anyway, poor Cinderella was a slave in her own home. One day, the prince was going to have a ball._

"Yay! The prince is having a ball!" Colette said.

"We'll go; then ask for his hand in marriage!" Sheena said.

"May I go too?" Cinderella asked.

"Hmmm…if you can make yourself look pretty before we have to leave," Raine said.

_But poor Cinderella didn't have enough time; for she was too busy seeing to her stepmother and stepsisters. She had nothing to wear, and the evil stepsisters laughed at her as they left._

_Cinderella felt extreme depression, and began crying. It was nightfall, and she'd been crying five hours straight when she noticed a woman with fairy wings and a wand smiling at her._

"Who…who are you?" Cinderella asked.

"I am your fairy godmother," The Fairy Godmother said. "I know you wish to go to the ball, and I am here to help you."

_At this point, seven of Cinderella's mice friends came out and watched everything. Given by the clothing they wore, you would realize that these seven mice were Cinderella's closest friends: Genis, Zelos, Kratos, Regal, Corrine, Yuan, and Neil._

"But I thought I died…" Corrine muttered.

_Hey, I died in the game too, but here I am._

"Oh yeah!"

"Why am I here?" Neil asked.

_Because it's funny. Anyway, back to the story. The Fairy Godmother flew to a pumpkin and began chanting._

"Umm…how did it go? Bippity Boppity…Boo?" the Fairy Godmother chanted.

_The pumpkin turned into a carriage. Fairy Godmother began jumping for joy._

"Yes! I got it! I told them I could, but no! They thought I couldn't do it!" The Fairy Godmother cheered.

"You were going to marry her?" Kratos whispered to Yuan, who was watching his fiancée, horrified.

_Ahem!_

"Sorry…" Miss Fairy Godmother said.

_Thank you…wait, you have a line._

"Oh right! We'll need some horses," Fairy Godmother said.

_She looked around, until she noticed the seven mice. She smiled, and aimed her want at them, chanting and turning six of them into horses. Kratos was the only mouse spared._

"Yeah!"

_The horses were…umm…what's the word? Oh whatever! They were placed in front of the carriage, hooked up and ready to go._

"Now we need a coachman," Fairy Godmother said.

_She pointed her want at the final mouse, and he turned into the coachman._

"I knew the authoress loved me more!" Kratos said.

_Anyway, Fairy Godmother also gave Cinderella a pretty dress and glass shoes._

"I'm afraid these will only last until midnight," Fairy Godmother said.

"Affirmative," Cinderella said. "Thank you."

"You're welcome, now go."

_And so, Cinderella went to the ball. All were awed with her beauty, the prince included. They danced until 11:30, which was when Cinderella took her leave._

_The prince's ball lasted two more days after that day. The second day went a nice as the first, but the third day went horribly wrong._

_Forgetting to watch the clock, she was surprised to hear the bell strike twelve. She turned and left, one of her shoes falling off her as she ran. She left it alone, for her dress was turning back to the slave dress she wore, and watched her friends run away from a pumpkin sitting there useless._

_Although unable to stop this mysterious woman, the prince was able to retrieve the slipper. He ordered that every maiden in the land try the slipper on._

"Why would you care so much?" The prince's attendant asked.

"Didn't you see her?" The prince asked. "She was so beautiful…She's the one for me. Plus I'll hack your leg off if you don't do you job."

"I'm sorry, Your Highness!" The attendant said.

_They continued throughout the land, but were unable to find the owner of the shoe. At long last, they reached the home of Cinderella._

_Colette and Sheena tried the slipper on, but failed to fit their huge feet into it. The prince; not aware that Cinderella lived there, was about to leave, convinced that he would never find his true love when the slave girl barged into the room._

"Don't leave! Don't leave!" she cried. "Let me try the slipper, please!"

"Cinderella? What are you doing here? Go back to your room!" Raine shouted.

"You said there were only two ladies living in this house," The prince said.

"Cinderella hardly counts," Raine harshly replied.

"She's a maiden; she deserves to try the slipper on," The attendant said.

_And so, Cinderella tried the slipper on; it was a perfect fit._

"OMG!" The stepsisters shrieked.

"Ah ha!" The attendant said. "You are the prince's true love!"

"Your name is Cinderella?" The prince asked.

"Yes," Cinderella replied.

_The prince kneeled in front of Cinderella. Darn it…looks like I have a pointless sentence in this one too…_

"Will you marry me?" The prince asked.

"Yes!" Cinderella said.

_And so, Cinderella and her seven mice friends moved to the castle, and everyone, with the exception of the evil stepfamily, lived happily ever after._

**Botta: The End (Closes book). Now please review.**


	4. The Little Mermaid

**I hath come back from the GRAVE! (Insert some sort of background music here) Nah, not really. I just had a HUGE hiatus with this…I'm SUPER SORRY GUYS!! ;;**

**Botta: It's a good thing I'm a half-elf! I probably would've been dead by now! XP**

**Yeah…but I'm planning on reviving an old fic that was in the Tales Section, and then there's this…so I think I'm making a comeback…right?**

**Botta: I hope the readers forgive you!**

**I hope they do too! Once again, I am sorry guys. Anyways, I don't own the fairy tales or ToS. I do own the Ghost That Steals Fairy Tale Book Pages Just Because and my insane ideas.**

**Cast time! Ariel: Colette, Flounder: Genis, Sebastian: Yuan, Scuttle: Zelos, King Triton: Frank, Ursula: ****Pronyma, Flotsam: Rodyle, Jetsam: Magnius, Prince Eric: Lloyd (There, something that makes sense. Lloyd's been a prince for quite a while now, hasn't he? XD).**

**Take it away Father Gander! (Once again, in case you have forgotten, Italics are Botta talking/narrating)**

**Botta: Thank you RoyalFanatic. Our next story is The Little Mermaid. (Opens book of fairy tales)**

_Once upon a time, deep below the water, there was an underwater kingdom called Atlantis…or something like that. This kingdom was ruled by a great Merman by the name of King Triton, and he had a teenage daughter by the name of Ariel. But Ariel had a bad fascination with the human world._

_As a matter, of fact, we see Ariel and her best friend Flounder as they head into a sunken ship, collecting worthless trinkets that no doubt fascinate her._

"Come Flounder! Look at all the treasures!" Ariel said happily.

_She turned around and held up…a fork. Yes folks, a fork._

"What is that?" Flounder asked. "And why don't I know anything any more? I'm smart!"

_Quiet Genis…Flounder. Anyway, Ariel, your line._

"I don't know," She replied. "But Scuttle might! Let's go see him!"

"But…didn't your dad and Sebastian, the court musician, say we weren't supposed to visit sunken ships and the surface?" Flounder asked.

"Awww…but they don't let me do anything!" Ariel said. "Let's go see Scuttle anyway. Come on!"

_And so they traveled to the surface, where they saw a male seagull…hitting on some female ones?_

"Come on, my hunnies!" Scuttle cried. "I know about the human world!"

"Hi Scuttle!" Ariel said.

"Hmm? Ah, my mermaid beauty!" Scuttle cried. "Do you need the Great Scuttle's insight on a human object?"

"As a matter of fact, I do!" Ariel said.

_She held up the fork, which the bird took. Examining it for a good five minutes, he finally decided what it was._

"AH HA! This is…a COMB!" He shouted. "You use it in your hair! Like this!"

_Scuttle then proceeded to show the two "how" to use the "comb", even though we all know it's a fork and we use it to eat stuff with. He then handed the "comb"/fork thing back to Ariel._

"Thanks!" She exclaimed. "Now let's go add it to my collection of other human things!"

_With that, she and her really smart half elf fish friend headed into the sea. Their destination: Ariel's Sea Grotto!_

_They were halfway there when a voice stopped them in their tracks._

"Chosen One! I mean…Ariel! What are you doing?" Sebastian shouted. "Have you been to places the King and I have forbid?"

"No…" Ariel replied.

"Then what is that behind your back?" Sebastian asked.

"I gotta go!" Ariel shouted.

_She retreated. Dang pointless sentence!_

"Wait!" Sebastian cried. "I was supposed to sing a song or something! … …oh well!"

_And so Ariel heads to her grotto and stuff. Unknown to her, however, she is watched by AN EVIL AND UGLY SEA WITCH and her EVIL AND UGLY HENCHMEN…err…eels. There we go._

"So! Ariel enjoys the human world, doesn't she?" Ugly witch Ursula asked. "Hey! Stop calling me ugly!"

_You are on the inside. And those two are ugly on the inside AND outside._

"Worthless vermin! How dare you!?" Jetsam shouted.

"Ssso," Flotsam said. "Thisss is your chance! Will you take advantage of the Chosssen's…umm…Ariel'sss love of the human world to get your revenge?"

"Did you read my diary?" Ursula asked. "How dare you! But yes! She will make the perfect pawn!"

_Forward a day or so. Ariel decides to see what's going on with the surface dwellers. She spies a ship, but it's not just any ship. It's the ship with the one and only PRINCE ERIC! And some people. And a dog. Yes a dog._

"Wow! Noishe's finally a dog!" Prince Eric exclaimed.

_We're off topic._

"Right."

"Oh wow…he's hot…" Ariel said.

_Anyway, things are going well until a GIANT STORM COMES! And Eric's TOSSED INTO THE SEA!_

"Oh no! I have to save him!" Ariel cried.

_And so she saves him and drags him to the beach and sings to him. When he starts to wake up, she leaves._

_Now, King Triton notices Ariel's recent…mood and stuff, and calls for Sebastian._

"It seems my daughter had found a merman worthy of her attention!" He proclaimed. "Who is the lucky guy?"

"Ummm…uhhh…I'mnotsayingAriellovesahuman!" Sebastian cried. "I'malsonotsayingshehasagrottowhereshekeepshumanstuff!"

"WHAT?" King Triton bellowed.

_With that, the angry king caught his daughter and Flounder in her grotto. He destroyed the place and left. Because he felt really guilty, Sebastian, who had been with the king, stayed and cowered._

_Poor Ariel was saddened, until the ugly Ursula appeared._

"You want to live with the humans, don't you dear?" Ursula asked.

"Yes…" Ariel sniffed.

"Then how about a deal?" Ursula asked. "I turn you into a human for three days. If your true love doesn't kiss you before then, you turn back into a mermaid, I own your soul, and I turn you into a polyp and add you to my garden collection. If he does, you're a human, I don't own your soul, and I don't turn you into a polyp. And no, Rodyle didn't come up with this; I did."

_Yes Rodyle did. He's the most cunning of the Grand Cardinals after all. Anyway, she conjured a contract, which Ariel signed, despite her friends' warnings. Ditz. Ugly Ursula then gave Ariel a potion, which made HER HUMAN!_

_Some time later, good old Prince Eric, looking for the girl who had saved him, wanders onto the beach, where he SEES ARIEL, who was sitting on a rock with the mast sheet wrapped around her._

"She ain't an iron board, I can say that much," Scuttle said.

_But the stupid bird was ignored. Eric walked up to Ariel._

"Hey there! What's your name?"

_But the potion had STOLEN ARIEL'S VOICE! And so she couldn't reply._

_Eric felt downtrodden, but invited her to the castle anyway! Yay!_

_So, while the two live in the palace, Sebastian, Scuttle, and Flounder try their hardest to get Eric and Ariel to kiss. Unfortunately…a woman named Vanessa appeared! With a shell around her neck!_

"Hold on! This thing's broken!"

… …

"… … …okay! There we go!"

_And so the woman begins singing…and the shell IS ACTUALLY A STRANGE REPRESENTATION OR SOMETHING OF ARIEL'S VOICE! Using strange hypnotic powers, she hypnotizes Eric, who says the two MUST GET MARRIED! THE HORROR!_

_But Vanessa didn't realize that Scuttle magically found out that she was actually URSULA!_

"I gotta tell my hunny!" Scuttle said.

_Scuttle tells Ariel, and the group splits up: Sebastian tells good old King Triton, Scuttle and all the air and sea critters distract, and Ariel and Flounder try to reach the wedding, which is at sundown on the third day. Scuttle breaks the shell, which not only restores Ariel's voice, but breaks the spell on Eric!_

"I have my voice back!" Ariel cried.

"Wait…you're the one who saved me!" Eric cried.

_But before he could do anything, ARIEL TURNS BACK INTO A MERMAID. Ursula then transforms back to herself and captures Ariel. And then BEGINS TO TURN HER INTO POLYP!_

"I won't allow it!" King Triton shouts.

_And so he sacrifices himself and BECOMES THE POLYP INSTEAD! Ugly Ursula TAKES HIS TRIDENT AND CROWN!_

"Now _I_ am the ruler of the seas!" She shouted.

"Let Colette! I mean Ariel…sorry…let Ariel go!" Eric shouted.

_He jumped into the water and THREW A HARPOON AT HER! It is successful in helping Ariel escape. The two evil ugly eels try to sink Eric, but they fail, and so Ursula decides to finish Eric off herself!_

"Ummm…look! It's Mithos!" Ariel shouted.

_The mermaid, who was on a rock, pointed to the air, and instead of hitting the prince, she hits her henchmen…eels…instead!_

"Darn it…you evil clumsy vermin!" Jetsam shouted.

"Pronyma you tricked me!" Flotsam cried. "WHY?"

_So the two eels vanish and stuff. But that only enrages Ursula, who makes herself HUGE! Not fat huge! The other huge! Anyway, she also forms this big whirlpool that brings up all these sunken ships. And one of them has a big sharp pole that sticks out in front of it!_

…_And I did not just foreshadow there folks._

"You'll pay for this Ariel!" Ursula shouted.

_And she KNOCKS ARIEL INTO THE CENTER OF THE WHIRLPOOL! Just as she's about to finish the poor Mermaid off for good…_

"Take THIS!" Eric shouts.

_The prince, meanwhile, had jumped aboard the ship with the big sharp pole, and stabbed it into Ursula's heart! Then the trident backfired, and the ugly witch is gone!_

_All the little polyps that were in the witch's garden turned back to merpeople, and King Trident was also restored!_

"Do you love this prince so much?" He asked.

"Yes father!" Ariel replied.

"Then I shall turn you into a human," Triton said.

_And so Ariel becomes a human, finally kisses Lloyd…umm…Eric…and they get married and stuff._

_Eric becomes a part of the family and everyone lives happily ever after._

**Botta: The End (Closes book). Now please review?**


	5. Sleeping Beauty

**After ten million years, the fairy tales have finally been updated!**

**Botta: It's a miracle! Again, be happy I'm half elf!**

**Doesn't it not matter anyway?  
**

**Botta: …**

**So, to basically everyone here, I'm sorry, but Zelos beat Mithos 6-5, so it is Zelos here. Not to worry, because Mithos will be in the next fairy tale without a doubt! And there still might be a chance to get him in a dress…**

**Botta: RoyalFanatic does not own us or Tales of Symphonia. She does own her insane ideas, however, and the Ghost that we managed to beat away this time! He will not be stealing pages this time!**

**The cast was forced to undergo a change, so those of you who got the first cast, it had to be modified. But I think this cast works just as well: Princess Aurora: Anna, Prince Philip: Kratos, King Stefan: Lloyd, His Queen: Sheena, King Hubert: Yuan, Flora: Colette, Fauna: Martel, Merryweather: Zelos, Maleficient: Raine, Her Crow: Kvar, and Sampson: Noishe. ZOMG paradox; Lloyd is Anna's father! Sorry Colloyd fans, although there is a hinting of the pairing if you squint hard enough!**

**Now, to remind everyone, italics is Botta narrating/speaking. Take it away, Father Gander!**

**Botta: Been waiting two years for her to say that…Thank you RoyalFanatic. Our next story is Sleeping Beauty. (Opens fairy tale book)**

_Once upon a time, in a kingdom that I don't care to name, there lived a kind, brown haired king and his summoner queen. But they had always wanted a child, you see; after all, who doesn't want an heir/a little bundle of joy that will grow up and succeed you?_

_And they did have a baby; a little girl named Princess Anna-_

"Hold on…we're using our names?" King Lloyd asked.

_The authoress wants to see if people like us using our actual names better. Besides, what kind of name is Philip? How many people actually KNOW the prince's name is Philip anyway!?_

"True…" Queen Sheena muttered.

_And so…the kingdom celebrates the birth of the little Princess Anna, and everyone is invited to see the baby and bring gifts. Among the invited crowd is the king of a neighboring kingdom and good friend of King Lloyd, King Yuan._

"What!? When the hell did I ever become friends with Lloyd!?"

_When did Lloyd become Anna's father? Heck, when did he even get old than Anna? And how in the goddess' name is Kratos your son?_

"Wait…what!?"

_For sure enough, King Yuan and King Lloyd decided to marry their children off in order to keep the two kingdoms' friendships strong. Man, a girl not even three months old and a boy only five…I feel sorry for them._

"S-shut it! It's a good idea!" King Lloyd insisted.

"It…makes the most sense…" King Yuan muttered. "A-anyway, go give your gift to your future wife, Kratos."

_The little auburn five year old, who must've gotten his looks from his mother, stares at his father before deciding that maybe meeting his future wife wouldn't be that bad of an idea. Five year difference, eh? Not bad, not bad._

_So anyway, there is a herald who blows his trumpet and a light descending from the heavens. All look towards this light as three figures in dresses, a blond female in red, a green-haired female in green, and a red-haired male in blue, descended into the room magically. We meet the three fairies, Mistresses Colette, Martel, and Zelos._

"Hey! I'm still a guy you know!" Zelos insisted.

_Says "Mistresses" here._

"You got me to wear this ugly blue dress…can't I at least be Mistress Zelos the Great!?"

_Well, you DID decide to wear the dress in the end, so fine; we meet Mistress Colette, Mistress Martel, and Mistress Zelos the Great._

"Oh yeah! Is the Great Zelos awesome or what!?"

"Zelos, we're not here to discuss your titles," Colette said.

"Hello everyone," Martel waved. "We're here to bring the baby gifts!"

"That's right!" Colette cried. "King Lloyd, Queen Sheena; we're here to bestow wonderful gifts on your daughter."

"You guys rock," King Lloyd said. "She's right over there."

_He gestured towards the crib, where the baby princess slept, completely oblivious to her surroundings. Deciding that staying back a little and letting the good fairies do their thing was a good idea, the prince took a few steps back._

_Colette was the first to approach the sleeping baby, and despite flying in the air, she tripped…oh dear. Anyway, fixing her fluffy red dress, she waved her wand in the air._

"Little baby princess, I give you the gift of beauty! All will recognize your fair looks, as well as your stunning hair and eyes the color of the gentle, nurturing earth."

_Martel fluttered over to the sleeping baby as Colette took to the air and…watched Lloyd. With a secret look of longing on her face…oh dear. Anyway, the green garbed fairy waved her wand as well._

"Young female child, I give you the gift of song. All will listen and rejoice in your voice so fine that even the nightingale will cry."

_With her gift bestowed, she fluttered over to King Yuan…to talk perhaps? Sorry Martel; had to be done. Anyway, Zelos fluttered over towards the sleeping princess as well, and raises his wand._

"Little hunny baby, I give you-"

_But before he could finish, the doors blew open! Wind and dark light scared the people and made our important characters flinch as a sorceress with short silver hair, evil sparkling blue eyes, a long black dress, and a silver wand appears in the room! Oh the horror! A black crow with strange gray hair and squinty eyes is located on the newcomer's shoulder._

"What is this? A party?"

"R-Raine!?" King Lloyd paled. "Wh-what are you doing here!?"

"You throw a huge party and allow common humans and…those things, but do not invite me?" Raine asked. "Truly a disappointment, right Kvar?"

_Being a crow, Kvar could only caw, and he did so. I'm guessing he's saying: 'This is amusing Raine; it's obvious the inferior beings care more for trash than you.', but since I don't speak crow, I don't know. But yeah, so much for everyone being invited._

"Hey! Were you insulting us!?" Zelos shouted.

"Uhhhh…you're not too offended, are you?" King Lloyd asked.

"Am I?" Raine asked. "Of course I am! I will give this child a gift of my own; when she turns sixteen, she will prick her finger on a loom and idie!/i"

_Prick her finger on a loom? Weirdest cause of death. EVER. But it was too late; the damage was done. When King Lloyd tried to sick his men on her, Raine vanished! More horror!_

"Our child!" Queen Sheena wept. "What can be done!?"

"Uhhh…I haven't given Princess Anna my gift yet…" Zelos commented.

"Can you undo the curse?" King Lloyd asked.

"Well…I'm not sure, but maybe I can soften it a little."

_With this said, he raised his wand once again._

"Little cursed hunny baby, instead of dying when you prick your innocent finger, you'll only be put to sleep for a reaaaaaaaaaaaaally long time. To wake from this deep slumber, you have to experience true love's first kiss."

_The king and queen, although saddened that their daughter was still in danger, were relieved that at least she wouldn't die. Because the king is impulsive and not bookish smart, he ordered all the looms burned in the village square, but this doesn't mean the princess is out of the fire yet._

_Cut to a fairy tea party a few days after the party; Colette, Martel, and Zelos ponder over the cunning Raine and Princess Anna's fate._

"Raine's a meanie…" Colette muttered. "How could she curse a poor innocent child?"

"A child with bolstered beauty and voice because of us," Zelos pointed out.

"She'll still find a way to activate her curse," Martel insisted. "We have to hide the princess."

"Why don't we turn her into a flower?" Colette asked. "A beautiful flower; who would hurt her?"

"Well…Raine might be able to locate her and cast Prism Sword or something," Zelos countered. "I doubt a flower can last against those light swords…"

"She's very cunning…" Martel muttered. "And evil enough to destroy flowers in order to find the princess…"

"Then how about we hide her in the forest as a peasant?" Colette asked. "We'll raise her ourselves!"

"I'm…not much of a parent…" Zelos countered.

"It's the only plan we have that might actually work," Martel insisted. "Raine might not think that the princess would be raised as a peasant."

"And the forest is close to the ocean," Colette added. "We all know how much Raine fears the water."

_And so the fairies go to King Lloyd and Queen Sheena, and all agree that the plan is the best option. So in the dead of night, the fairies sneak Anna out of the castle and into the forest._

_Cut to an evil castle, some sixteen years later. Now, our Sorceress Raine had been searching high and low for the Princess Anna, even resorting to killing flowers with her light magic. Good thing they DIDN'T turn her into a flower…anyway, she turns to her lackeys._

"She is not in the kingdom?" She asked. "Are you sure?"

"W-we're sure! We searched everywhere!" The head lackey insisted.

"Including the cradles!" A second voiced.

"The cradles?" Raine asked. "The cradles!? _IMBICLES!_ We are searching for a sixteen year old young woman! Get out of my sight!"

_After chasing away her useless lackeys, she turned to her crow._

"Kvar…you're the only one I can trust. Go, fly! Search for a maiden with fair hair and eyes the color of the earth!"

And so the squinty henchbird flies out a window and into the sky.

_We go to the forest, where we see the princess-now-peasant gathering berries for her three aunts…okay, two aunts and one uncle, but that's besides the point! As she goes about her duty, she gets the sudden urge to sing!_

_And sing she does; a song full of hopeless romantics and finding her true love…or something like that. Cute little forest creatures gathered around and watched her as she sings her beautiful song, including the squinty eyed crow! Horror!_

_But the animals are not the only ones who hear the singing; for sure enough, riding on his faithful protozoan steed, we see a young man near twenty one years traveling through the forest._

"Noishe…do you hear that?"

_Rejoice, everyone; it is none other than Prince Kratos! The white and green furred protozoan raised his head and whined. Maybe Noishe is saying: 'Yeah! It's pretty! It's probably someone important to you in the future singing so the two of you can glance at each other and stuff.', but since I don't speak whine, I'm afraid I do not know._

_Anyway, the prince decided to find the source of the singing, and trailed the song to where Anna and the cute little animals are. Oh joy as the two's eyes glanced at each other; the engaged couple met once again!_

_But since Anna didn't even know she was supposed to marry in the first place, and Kratos was only a five year old boy that fateful party, neither of them thought the other the prince/princess they actually were. So peasant yet actually a princess Anna returns back to her home and the prince goes his way, perhaps thinking longingly of the princess he is to marry._

_Meanwhile, Kvar returns to his mistress and entrusts the details to her._

"Raised in the forest? Impressive!" The sorceress cried. "The forest is too close to the ocean, after all!"

_She shuddered. Ah yes; Raine hates water…_

"Inform me when see finally returns to the castle," Raine continued. "I will see to her end once and for all there…"

_So the crow Kvar located himself near the castle, and awaited the day the princess returned._

_Which came immediately; having learned of her heritage, Anna was more than ready to meet her parents and people, and hastened to the castle._

_Raine immediately took her place; disguising herself as an old servant and crafted a magical loom. The princess was quick to discover the hag…ummm…servant, and being the kind woman she was, she wanted to help._

_But he finger was pricked! And she fell asleep! All that hard work for nothing!_

_The sorceress was satisfied that her curse had been activated, but remembered that Zelos had granted a way to break it. So she left the kingdom to find and capture the prince! RUN KRATOS! RUNNNN!_

_Oh, and the fairies were horrified to discover all their planning was worth nothing._

"What do we do now!?" Colette shrieked.

"Guess we put the entire kingdom to sleep," Zelos suggested. "When Princess Anna wakes, so will the people."

"And we will leave her safe in the highest tower," Martel added. "So the prince will be able to reach her and break the spell."

"Wait…what if Raine's after the prince!?" Colette asked. "He could be in trouble!"

"Then we better go find him, and fast," Martel replied.

_After putting the entire kingdom to sleep and seeing Princess Anna safe in the tower, the fairies head to the kingdom of King Yuan to see what has become of Prince Kratos._

_But to their horror, he had been captured! Using their magic, they storm Raine's evil lair, kick ass, and break the prince free!_

"Okay, long story short: Peasant girl in the forest was Princess Anna, who we were trying to protect," Zelos began. "But she fell to the curse anyway…"

"Good job of doing that," Kratos muttered.

"Raine is manipulative and evil," Martel said. "But the princess is safe; located in the highest tower of her kingdom. You must go and break the curse; only true love's first kiss can restore Anna and the kingdom."

"WHINE!" Noishe added.

_Maybe he said 'I told you! I told you the singer was important! Now we better go and find the princess before Raine tries to ruin things for us!', but I don't know. Again, I don't speak whine._

_Raine was furious when learning the prince was racing to the tower! Deciding to take matters into her own hands, she summons a forest of thorns to block the way!_

_But even a forest of magical plants that can kill you did not deter our auburn haired prince, and onward he and Noishe went!_

_Then Raine herself decided to make sure the curse would not be broken, and not only does she appear to finish the prince off, but she appears as a HUGE ASS dragon! Poor Noishe, scared of monsters, flees in horror and…fear!_

"You will not save her!" Raine dragon roared.

_She rained down fire on the prince, but it is not enough to stop him; he reveals his blue spectral wings and dodges! Ignore the fact that blue totally does NOT fit him, though. The prince retaliates with spells of his own, and hits the dragon!_

_It is an epic battle of epic proportions as spells and fire fly above the thorns that…sort of have no purpose because Kratos can fly…_

_But still, Raine is not pleased!_

"Why do you love her!? Why Anna! WHY CAN'T YOU LOVE ME!?"

…_wait…when did this become a debate about who Kratos can love?_

"She dies! She's dead! You can't save her!"

"In some other timeline, perhaps I do kill Anna…but this time I will save her!" Kratos shouted. "She is my betrothed, and there is nothing you can do about it! Judgment!"

_The epic light spell was enough to finish the dragon off, and she vanished! The forest of thorns vanished alongside her, and the prince headed into the tower!_

_Lo and behold: Sleeping Beauty awaiting true love's first kiss! She lied in the bed; a rose in her hands, which were located near her stomach. How innocent in sleep she was!_

"Ewwww, kissy scene!"

_Shut up Lloyd; you knew this was going to happen. Besides, you're supposed to be asleep…_

"And miss the kissing scene? Are you kidding me!? We're all waiting!"

_Riiiiiiiight…And so the prince walked for…you're not moving, Kratos._

"I…I know that…"

_Then what's wrong? If you and Anna are the ones who were able to procreate someone like Lloyd…_

"Hey!"

…_then it's obviously true love. Besides, you two are engaged, remember?_

"It's not that! There are…people watching…"

_Oh yeah; you're not Mr. Public Display of Affection, are you? Suck it up, prince; the readers are not going to look away. Actually, I think everyone's waiting._

"…"

_Look, just walk forward, kneel before her, taking her hand in yours, and kiss. That's all there is to it. It should take five seconds, people will probably "ewww", but for the most part, everyone's going to go "awwww!!"._

"Do it! Do it! Do it!" Everyone chanted.

_And so, the prince walked forward, okay, that's step one, and knelt before the princess. Step two complete. Taking her soft hand in his…oh! Oh! Step three! Anyway, he took her hand and placed a gentle kiss on her lips! Okay everyone, all together now:_

_AWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW!!_

_Anna's eyes fluttered as the prince backed away, and she lifted herself into a sitting position. Seeing the prince before her, she immediately threw her arms around his waist._

"Kratos! Thank goodness!" She wailed. "Oh, I had such a horrible dream! I saw you, and a child who looked like my father if he was a baby, and I turned into a monster! I was forced to ask you…to kill me…I…"

"It's…it's alright," Kratos insisted. "It was just a dream…all is well."

_The curse on the kingdom was broken, and everyone in the land awakened. The prince and princess decided the engagement had lasted long enough, and finally got married._

_They waltzed to a beautiful song about love in the ballroom as everyone watched, and everyone lived happily ever after._

**Botta: The End. (Closes book) Now, RoyalFanatic asked for some last announcements before I close: would you rather the actual ToS characters' names being used or do you prefer the fairy tale characters' names? And she apologizes for the battle scene, but is still quite proud of the tale. And that is all. Please review?**


	6. Snow White and the Seven Dwarves

**So, time for the next fairy tale! Not one of my bests, I'll admit, but…I don't think it's too bad.**

**Botta: You're updating! And it's not even a year! Praise Martel!**

**Oh shut up Botta. Anyway, I don't own Tales of Symphonia and its crackers…uhhh…I mean characters. Same difference though. I do own the Ghost that hasn't been bothering the fairy tale book thankfully!**

**So, our cast: Snow White: Mithos, Prince: Genis, His steed: Noishe, Evil Vain King: Zelos, the Huntsman: Kratos, the Seven Dwarves: Dirk, Altessa, Big Brother and the Gnomelettes.**

**Take it away Father Gander!**

**Botta: Thank you, RoyalFanatic. Our next fairy tale is 'Snow White and the Seven Dwarves'. (Opens the book)**

_Once upon a time, in yet another kingdom I don't care to name, we see its fair prince Mithos, who has the nickname of Snow White…_

"Sn-snow what!?" Mithos cried.

_Nicknamed so for his pale complexion; let me finish! Anyway, Mithos lived in the castle with his vain and egoistical stepfather, the King._

"You got that right!" Zelos shouted.

_Not again! Shut up! So, fearing Mithos would one day be more handsome than himself, King Zelos put his stepson to work as a maid. Oh the horror! He would then ask his Magic Mirror every day who was the most handsome of them all._

"Magic mirror on the wall! Who's the handsomest of them all?" Zelos asked.

_From inside the mirror we see…Regal's face! NOOOOOOOOOOO! He's been consumed by the mirror!!_

"…okay…?" Regal muttered. "Ahem. Anyway, _you_ are, King Zelos."

"Glad to hear it!" Zelos said.

_And so it went on; Mithos continued to work, and Zelos was always told he was the most handsome of all._

_Until one day, when the mirror had to confess an ugly truth!_

"Sn…Mithos is the most handsome of them all, Your Majesty," Regal said. "Sorry."

"What!? Outrage! How can anyone look prettier than me!?"

_With that, he called forth his strongest huntsman…dang, the authoress really needs to choose someone else for these morbid parts, shouldn't she? First Anna, now Mithos?_

"I do like the attention…" Kratos admitted. "Sadly enough…"

"Kratos! Go bring Mithos into the woods and _kill him_!" Zelos shouted. "And bring me back his heart as proof! In this fancy jeweled box!"

_And now we're up to K+! The dreaded jeweled box seems to be prettier than you, Zelos…and did the queen give the huntsman the box in the story?_

"It doesn't matter!" Zelos insisted. "Anyway, you have your orders. Go!"

_Taking the box, Kratos grabbed Mithos and the two headed towards the forest._

_But the guilt of killing such a young, handsome, and innocent child started to overweigh the king's orders; how could one such as he kill one such as Mithos?_

"Ooooh, pretty flowers! Are we collecting the pretty flowers for my dad, teacher?"

_Who knows; Mithos could've been this innocent before Martel's death._

"Uhhh…sure…yeah."

_They continued their walk, and Kratos hesitantly pulls out the sword that would KILL Mithos…_

_The maid who was actually a prince quickly saw it._

"T-teacher…are you going to kill me?"

_Will he do it!?_

"…go."

"What?" Mithos asked.

"Retreat into the forest. Never come back! Your father wants you dead, but I can't kill you!"

_Frightened by this startling revelation, Mithos turned and fled into the forest. After seeing him vanish into the trees, Kratos killed a pig and brought ITS heart back to King Zelos as proof. Then he resigned from the queen's service and fled the kingdom._

_I'm not sure if that's actually what the huntsman did, but it saves him from death, so way to go!_

_Meanwhile, Mithos wanders through the forest alone and scared, until little woodland creatures came into the picture. Now, they all felt sorry for the poor prince, and so they decide to lead him to shelter._

_And led him to shelter they did; a neat cottage located deep in the woods. Inside there were seven little chairs and beds, and the place was very, very, very messy._

"I guess seven children live here. I wonder what happened to their mother…Hey! How about we clean the place for them?"

_So Mithos and the woodland creatures began sweeping and washing and drying and doing other cleaning stuff. When the cottage is nice and clean, he falls asleep; actually taking three of the seven beds. Eh, not too bad._

_Meanwhile, in a nearby mine, the actual owners of the cottage are working their butts off. Two dwarfs and five gnomelettes gathered coal and…mine stuff…_

"Yah; real descriptive…"

_I don't work in a mine, okay!? And neither does the authoress! Anyway! After a long hard day at work, the seven head back home._

_And they are shocked to see the place clean!_

"Eh? When did the place get magically clean!?" The leader of the seven, Dirk, asked.

"I bet it was a loser," One of the Gnomelettes, Big Brother, insisted. "Invaded our home and everything. Loser."

_With a cry of "FIND THE LOSER!", the Gnomelettes charged into the bedroom; the actual dwarfs following behind._

_And then they find Prince Mithos, fast asleep! The woodland creatures fled as the gnomelettes began causing a ruckus, and the ruckus wakes the prince._

"That was a nice nap…oh! Are you the owners of the house? I'm sorry; I thought you were children!"

"Who are you?" The dwarf Altessea asked. "Leave!"

"Wait…my name is Mithos," Mithos began. "My stepfather is trying to kill me, so I was told to find shelter outside the kingdom. I…I have no home…and I can clean and cook!"

"You can cook?" Gnomelette One asked.

"I want spicy!" Gnomelette Two shouted.

"Alright lad; you ken stay," Dirk said.

_And so Mithos stayed in the home with the dwaves and gnomelettes. All, save Altessa, who's supposed to be the Grumpy of the bunch, quickly warmed up to this new visitor who could cook and clean well._

_But eventually even Altessa warmed up to the prince as well._

_All is not well at the castle, however. King Zelos turned to his mirror and again, asked who the most handsome of them all was…_

"Mithos is still the most handsome, Your Majesty," Regal said.

"What!? But I have his heart! He's dead!" Zelos shouted. "Grrrr…that traitor! Where is Kratos!? I'll kill him!"

"He resigned and left," Regal said.

"Darn it! Looks like I'll have to take care of Mithos myself then!"

_Retreating to the basement of the castle, Zelos used potions to turn himself into a raggedy old man, as well as poison a marvelous apple. Placing the poisoned apple with others, Zelos retreated into the forest._

_He was quick to find the cottage, and Mithos taking care of it alone._

"Hello sonny!" Zelos croaked. "Would you care to try a nice, fresh apple?"

_He hobbled over towards the blond prince, and holds up the shiny poisoned apple._

"You must be hungry after a hard day of working."

"Well, a fresh apple sounds nice," Mithos said.

_And so he takes the apple and bites into it, and HE FALLS ASLEEP! It's Princess Anna all over again! Oh the horror!_

_With his job done, Zelos flees from the scene, and is discovered by Dirk, Altessa, and the Gnomelettes!_

"I killed him! Now I'm the fairest in the land!"

"How could you, loser!?" Gnomelette Four screamed.

_And so they chased Zelos up a cliff and trap him there! The ugly king tried to push a boulder down on them that would kill them…but it's raining, badly, and lightning strikes the cliff!_

_AND HE FALLS TO HIS DOOOOOOOM!!_

_The seven midgets headed back to the cottage and see Mithos…oh horror! He is all but dead! They tried to wake him, but failed!_

_But they decided that they couldn't bury her in the ground, so they place her in a glass coffin. Seasons go by, and they and the woodland creatures watch over her._

_After a few years, we saw a silver haired prince living not so happily in his castle. Woe to Prince Genis, who looks for his true love!_

"Do I have Noishe as a steed again?"

_Of course you do! Who else can we use!?_

"Whine!"

_See? He doesn't mind!_

"Fine…oh woe is me…"

_There ya go! Anyway, he soon learned about the sleeping prince in the forest, and sorrowed to hear of his plight, he decided to visit the coffin and see if anything could be done._

_And there lies the sleeping Mithos, in his glass tomb! Prince Genis is captivated by his beauty; he surely is the fairest of them all! Opening the top of the coffin, Genis knelt before the prince and placed a soft kiss on the other prince's lips._

"…stop with the freaking naps…"

_Everyone rejoiced as the sleeping Mithos woken! All is well in the forest again!_

"Prince Mithos…uhh….y-you're really pretty…w-w-will you come live w-w-with m-me?"

"Sure! We'll be together forever!"

_All waved and saw the two princes off as they rode back to Genis' castle. And they lived happily ever after together._

**Botta: The end. (Closes book) Please review?**


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